trying to learn how to make a better intro

trying a new intro out what do people think of this.

For youtube SEO hacked try tubebuddy today: https://www.tubebuddy.com/otf15

Song: Fredji - Happy Life (Vlog No Copyright Music) Music provided by Vlog No Copyright Music. Video Link: https://youtu.be/KzQiRABVARk ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQL74HmGJ5Y